We hear it all the time: “It’s the little things that matter.”
I used to wholeheartedly believe that.
Then Jesse was killed.
In an instant, that belief—along with so many others I held close—was shattered.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
“If you do good, only good will come back to you.”
The hopes, dreams, and excitement I had for the future of all of my children…
Shattered.
When your world changes so dramatically, you begin to question everything you once accepted as truth. Even a simple phrase like “It’s the little things that matter” takes on a different meaning.
As I’ve reflected on our journey and on the everyday moments of life, I’ve found myself asking:
Do the little things really matter?
My answer is both yes and no.
If you ask your child to do the dishes and there’s still a little grease left on a plate, does that really matter?
No.
If you buy a brand-new pair of white sneakers and your dog steps on your foot, leaving a muddy smudge, does that really matter?
No.
What matters is what was happening around those moments.
Maybe when you noticed the greasy dish, you grabbed the sink sprayer, showed your child how to use a little more soap, and the two of you ended up laughing until your sides hurt.
That’s what matters.
Maybe your sneakers were smudged because your dog was happily walking beside you while you were sharing an incredible conversation with someone you love.
That’s what matters.
The residue on the plate will wash away.
The dirt on your shoes can be cleaned.
But the laughter, the connection, the conversation—those are the moments that stay with us.
I still catch myself focusing on the little things that annoy me. I think we all do. But when I notice myself going down that road, I try to pause. I step back and ask myself if I’m paying attention to the right things.
Am I noticing the moments that brighten my light?
Am I creating moments that brighten someone else’s?
Because after experiencing profound loss, I’ve learned that joy doesn’t always come in grand, life-changing events. Sometimes it quietly appears in a shared laugh over imperfect dishes, a muddy paw print, a hug that lasts a little longer, or a conversation you didn’t realize you needed.
Those are the moments that help pull a little joy from the darkness.
Only you can decide what truly matters in your life.
Only you know what you hold precious.
Only you know which moments fill your heart, restore your peace, or brighten your light—and perhaps even someone else’s.
So don’t spend too much energy counting the little annoyances.
Instead, count the moments that remind you you’re still here.
Still loving.
Still laughing.
Still finding light, even in the places where darkness once seemed overwhelming.
Because in the end, it isn’t the little inconveniences that matter.
It’s the love, the connection, and the memories that surround them.
From Jesse’s Justice
No one should have to walk through grief alone.
Through free grief resources, advocacy, education, and community support, we strive to honor Jesse’s life by helping others navigate theirs.
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🖤♥️ For Jesse. For Justice.