Remembrance and understanding are important as we take our next steps and learn to live with loss.
Grief changes us. It changes the way we see the world, the way we move through our days, and the way we understand what matters. Over time, we begin to learn how to carry the weight of our grief not because it becomes lighter or because we leave our loved one behind, but because we learn different ways to carry it.
And somewhere along that journey, we may begin to search for purpose.
Not purpose in the loss, but purpose in how we respond to it.
This past Friday, September 11, 2026, was Jesse’s 23rd birthday. Another birthday. Another year of milestones missed. Another reminder of all the things that should have been.
We spent time together as a family, sharing a meal that Jesse would have enjoyed and quietly sitting with the feeling of him being there with us, even though he wasn’t physically there.
It will never be the same.
We know that.
But we will always remember. We will always honor the day. We will always honor Jesse.
September 11 is also a day forever marked in our country’s history. I always told Jesse that he was born on 9/11 because someday he would change the world.
In his own way, he did.
For everyone who met Jesse, knew Jesse, laughed with Jesse, spent time with him, loved him, or simply crossed paths with him he changed a part of your world. He brought laughter. He brought love. He created memories. He left pieces of himself with the people whose lives he touched.
Maybe that is one of the ways a person continues to live after they are gone.
This week, I was asked a question that made me pause:
“Will it ever stop being about Jesse?”
The question was asked in reference to Jesse’s Justice and the work we continue to do.
My immediate response was simple:
It isn’t about Jesse. It is because of Jesse.
There is a difference.
If Jesse were still here, if what happened to him had never happened, we would not be who we are today. We would not be doing the work we are doing. We would not have the same understanding of what is possible, what needs to change, or how important it is to speak up.
We would not have needed to find a way to turn our pain into action.
And our world would be a more beautiful place because Jesse would still be in it.
We don’t do this work because we want to remain stuck in what happened.
We do it because what happened matters.
We do it because Jesse mattered.
We do it because other families matter.
We do it because there are things that need to change.
We do it because sometimes the only thing we can choose after something devastating happens is how we respond.
That doesn’t mean the loss becomes purposeful. I would never tell another grieving parent that their child’s death happened “for a reason.” There are things that should never have happened, and there is no explanation that can make them okay.
But we can choose what we do with the life we have left to live.
We can remember.
We can speak.
We can advocate.
We can educate.
We can help someone else.
We can love.
We can continue.
And perhaps, in time, we can discover pieces of purpose—not in the loss itself, but in the choices we make because of it.
I also think it is important to clarify what we mean when we talk about Jesse and the work we do.
People sometimes believe they understand why someone does what they do, what motivates them, or what their intentions are. But unless we take the time to ask, listen, and truly understand, we may only be making assumptions.
You cannot fully understand another person’s grief from the outside.
You cannot know everything someone carries simply by looking at what they do.
And you cannot understand the meaning behind someone’s actions without understanding what brought them there.
For us, Jesse will always be part of the reason we keep moving forward.
His birthday will always be his birthday.
We will continue to remember the laughter, the love, the milestones, the memories, and the person he was not only the way he died.
And we will continue to find ways to honor the life he should still be living by choosing how we live ours.
It will never be the same.
But it can still have meaning.
It can still have love.
It can still have purpose.
And it can still have Jesse.
Not because our lives are about his death, but because his life continues to matter and because of Jesse, we choose to make a difference.
From Jesse’s Justice
No one should have to walk through grief alone.
Through free grief resources, advocacy, education, and community support, we strive to honor Jesse’s life by helping others navigate theirs.
If this article resonated with you, please consider sharing it. You never know who may need these words today.
🖤♥️ For Jesse. For Justice.